This Priest Will Bless Your Pickle. Let Us Pray.
Have you ever been blessed with a truly holy pickle? Not just a salty treat, but a spiritual experience?
Deep in the hearts of Renfaires and festivals across America, there is a man. A myth. A pickle legend. He is sought out for guidance, ritual, and a crispy large pickle. He has amassed hundreds of thousands of followers on social media and blessed too many pickles to count. He has even officiated a wedding. This is the Pickle Priest. Like many renfaire folk, he does not break character. His voice never falters. He is known simply as the Pickle Priest, or “Lord Pickle Priest on occasion, as I am legally a Lord in my own right”. He did not explain this statement further.
Pickles have long been a staple delicacy of renaissance fairs far and wide. The fermented snack dates back to ancient Mesopotamia but gained mainstream popularity during the European Renaissance thanks to its portability and easy preservation. Even Queen Elizabeth I was known to have a penchant for a good salty brine. The historical connection, along with affordability, convenience, and, it must be said, novelty, has made the "pickle guy" an archetype of renaissance faires across North America. The Pickle Priest is just one of many. The character goes like this: Someone, usually a man, dressed in a merchant class and hooded robe, wields a massive barrel of pickles, each pierced through with a kebab stick and ready to serve, as hoards of hungry fairgoers surround.
But the Pickle Priest goes a step further: He begins his ritual with a deep, dulcet “Let us begin your pickling.” As he blesses the pickles with prayers, arm flailing, and chants (much to the fans’ delight). His voice thunderous, he moves his hands with an air of pageantry and precision, holding the pickle aloft before sliding it into a thin plastic bag. He doles out blessings from his barrel, blessing pickles “in the name of all that is good and pickle,” before briskly turning to his patrons and finishing off with a blunt, “Give me money.”
While we are currently in the offseason for most renfaires, there are many opportunities to visit the Pickle Priest in person as he is a man of the people. You can watch his pickling process and anointments on his TikTok, where some of his videos have more than 40 million views. You can also check his postings on his socials for upcoming events and public appearances.
Future lucky patrons may even experience his ceremonious accolade, as he uses his wooden spoon to dub the shoulders of worthy mortals and recites the following words:
In the name of the barrel, I charge you to be curvy.
In the name of the brine, I charge you to be salty.
And in the name of the dill, I charge you to be succulent.
Let us feast.
By: Rachel Manson
