5 Pickle-Related Crimes that Make You Go “...what”?
From pickle jar drug smuggling to pickle barrel dunking, let’s peel back the brine-stained layers of some hard-hitting cases. These are five pickle-related crimes that will leave you wondering how anyone could have a total lack of impulse control.
1. Pickled Meth
In March 2026, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and the Australian Federal Police dismantled a drug operation that used pickle jars to hide 115 kilograms of methamphetamine. Meth was hidden inside sealed, commercial pickle jars in a large shipment heading for Melbourne, Australia. The authorities also seized over $400,000 in cash, eight 1-kilogram silver bars, a luxury vehicle, and various jewelry and electronics during searches in Australia and British Columbia. How drug lords thought these jars would get past security is a mystery.
2. Osaka's Serial Pickle Spitter
In the autumn of 2019, a man in his sixties got into a fight with the owner of a pickle store in Osaka, Japan, over the right to use a loyalty card. Rather than shrugging off the misunderstanding, the customer returned to the store several times a month. For almost a year, he would return to utter curses and spit on the walkway out front. The Osaka Prefectural Police conducted a stakeout in front of the pickle shop to witness the serial spitter at work, which resulted in a criminal charge. It was determined that the spitter’s actions were “highly malicious,” especially in the wake of the COVID pandemic. “He must have been running out of spit by that point anyway,” remarked one resident.
In Glassboro, New Jersey, on February 25th 2024, a man strolled into a Heritage’s convenience store and dunked his head into a large vat of pickles. It reportedly created a “commotion” and forced the store to remove the contaminated pickle bin. “All of a sudden, I hear a splash, I look over, and he was soaked,” said Zach Sinone, who worked at the deli counter at the time. “He’s walking out the door, and there’s pickle juice all over the floor.” According to officials, his action qualified as a crime. The perpetrator contacted the police, taking accountability for his actions. “We are withholding the video since he was apparently videoing the incident himself with his cell phone, probably for likes, and we do not want to give him more attention than he deserves,” the Glassboro Police Department said. The heinous act resulted in $52 worth of damage.
This honorary mention is not a specific crime, but it’s a pickle-related law that could lead to a criminal offence. Michigan State law has notoriously stringent rules about pickles, including that they must be a color that “is typical of cucumbers for pickling,” free of “any injury or defect which materially affects pickling quality,” and “not materially curved, materially tapered…or otherwise materially misshapen for pickling purposes.” While there’s room for interpretation within these parameters, cucumber picklers may be punished if they violate these stringent color and shape standards. If you’re selling them in Michigan, check your cukes so as not to commit illegal acts!
5. "Assault with a Violent Pickle"
When 34-year-old Christoph Herrmannsdoerfer (pictured above) was travelling as a passenger in a car cruising along U.S. Route 7 in Vermont, he noticed Carl Hoffman, an employee of the Vermont Agency of Transportation, on the side of the road. Herrmannsdoerfer decided to ruin Hoffman's day by throwing a pickle at him. Police say the weapon “struck the victim and caused him pain.” For throwing the pickle, Herrmannsdoerfer was booked for a simple assault misdemeanour, but this assault was added to an extensive record. He had multiple drunk driving convictions, a Florida arrest in 2016 after an altercation with police, and, allegedly, he’d threatened an EMS worker with a corkscrew. Observing Herrmansdoefer’s smug selfie, his behavior is not particularly shocking.
By: Rachel Manson
