Pamela Anderson’s $38 Pickles Sent Me Into an Existential Doom Spiral.
I paid $8 for milk last week. It was at my local corner store. I did not have time to go to the cheaper grocery store farther away. I paid through gritted teeth and a cold sweat as I thought about my credit card bill.
Rising food prices and inflation have turned a trip to the grocery store into a mild panic attack. Eggs are a sign of opulence. Billionaires have capitalized on the basic needs of survival to fill their pockets. What options do we have beyond leaving society to start a hobby farm with a group of local vagrants miles away from civilization? (Ha ha! As if we could afford real estate!)
These were the questions rattling in my head as I stared at the Instagrammably curated image of Pamela Anderson's new pickle venture. The actress, model, and Hollywood icon has partnered with the L.A. luxury brand Flamingo Estate to create limited-edition pickles made with delicate ingredients like rose petals, pink peppercorns and smoked sea salt at the not-so-delicate price of $38 a jar. You, too, could be as happy and carefree as Anderson in her cottagecore linen skirt and cowboy boots. In the marketing images, a bare-faced Anderson (sans makeup) assembles roses in a sun-drenched kitchen. It’s a lovely cosplay of returning to the simple things in life, so long as you can afford it. All proceeds from Anderson's pickles go to Return to Freedom, a non-profit protecting America’s wild horses and burros. The pickles are currently sold out, but there’s a waitlist.
Pamela Anderson's public revival has been a welcome one. She is smart, funny, a passionate environmentalist, and honestly, hasn't she suffered enough? Let Pamela have her pretty pink pickles. Look how much she cares about horses! Don't you care about horses?
Don't get me wrong, there is value to be had in paying top dollar for a curated food experience with thoughtful, high-quality ingredients. But tone deaf pricing among rising food costs, which make even pantry staples inaccessible to the average person, leaves a sour taste beyond that of any pickle.
Flamingo Estate looks like something out of a Joni Mitchell song: an image of California dreaming, nostalgic and untenable. Flamingo Estate refers to itself as “a pleasure-obsessed home of sun-worship, folk mythologies, and psychedelic remedies grown only by farmers we know and trust.” Cue the picturesque Los Angeles mansion with the herb garden.
Organic farming and sustainable produce are better for everyone, sure, but there's no hiding who these products are really for. The average mom trying to feed her family will not be dropping $38 for luxury pickles on hamburger night.
If pickles are not your thing, the Flamingo Estate store features other good-for-you food and wellness products, including a small jar of spicy dehydrated strawberries for $82. I wonder how much a carton of milk would cost.
By: Rachel Manson
