David’s List

Age 42. Male. Straight.
Age 15

The High-School Girlfriend

The girl I dated for 6 years in high-school. We never actually lost our virginities to each other because we were terrified.

Age 21

The Tinder Date

We went for Thai food and she jerked me off in the back of her Kia Soul.

Age 22

The Dishwasher Makeout

We worked at the same restaurant. Eventually we stopped getting put on the same shifts because we kept flirting and getting distracted. We hooked up for a few months. Eventually we grew apart. 

Age 23

The Office Coworker

Met her at my first office job. We dated for about 3 months and then she got back together with her ex when he moved back to the city from Idaho.

Age 23

The Girl with the Red Hair 

Casually dated someone from Tinder for 4 months. She stole my credit card and was the subject of a federal investigation.

Age 25

The D+D Accountant

My wife, my best friend, my better half. We got married under a massive tree in her parents backyard and I whispered to her something during our vows that no one will ever know but her.

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