Instead of Lighting the Sixth Candle, I was Flirting on the Roof and Bringing Shame to My Family

I guess Josh still had feelings for me. It had been two full summers since we kissed behind Issachar cabin. I’d moved on. He, apparently, had not.

And oh boy, had I moved on. His name was Oren, and when I showed up to Josh’s bar mitzvah, I had one goal: kiss Oren before the night was over.

Granted, he had an obvious crush on Lisa, but I mean, who didn’t? Besides, I was the funny one. That had to count for something.

Before leaving, my mom had made me promise “no shenanigans”. She was already the topic of much gossip, with the threat of divorce looming, so I figured the least I could do for her was to try and not make a scene.

Spoiler: I caused a scene.

It was probably our fifteenth bar mitzvah that year, and we’d already seen Debby and the Oy Train perform like a million times. So when Oren and his friend Adam invited Lisa and me to sneak up to the hotel roof, I didn’t hesitate.

Seven flights up from the Crystal Ballroom, and totally worth it. The city lights twinkled in every direction. Romance was in the air.

And then a miracle, Adam whisked Lisa away and out of sight, leaving Oren and me alone. Everything was going according to plan.

We talked. We laughed. We made fun of Jacob Yufltlbaum’s shiny shul pants. Time stopped. Hours passed. Then Adam and Lisa came back. Just like that, my window closed. No kiss.

Defeated, I clomped down the stairs—seven flights—only to be greeted by the Hardstein twins, wide-eyed and frantic. Josh’s mom, Fran, had organized a full-on search party. Hotel staff. Both rabbis.

And she’d called our moms.

Apparently, Josh had given me the surprise honor of lighting the sixth candle during the ceremony. I had, of course, failed to come up when my name was called.

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Fran grabbed me by the shoulders the second she saw me and, with a scornful look pointed me to the table by the door where my mom was sitting alone, staring blankly at the carpeting, fiddling with her keys, not saying anything.

Of course she’d come the second Fran called. She always did. Even now, when everyone was already whispering about her behind programs and napkins.

The party was still going, but my night was over. We drove home in silence. I felt terrible.

I guess I also feel kinda bad for Josh too. Maybe that kiss behind Issachar cabin meant more to him than I thought.